assorted chocolates

2007-05-17T18:11:00.000-05:00

SO DAMN HAPPY!!!!

FOR ONCE I'M CONTENT AND TRULY HAPPY WITH SOME ONE. WE HAVE THIS VERY HONEST RELATIONSHIP. WE'RE BESTFRIENDS AND SOULMATES. I NEVER GAVE UP ON LOVE. IT CAME TO MY DOOR WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING FOR IT. I WAS WILLING TO LET IT RIGHT IN. I HAVE NO REGRETS AND IT WILL WORK OUT SO THERE IS NO ROOM FOR REGRETS.

JUST AS SOON AS I'M READY TO LOSE HOPE
I MEET THIS FINE, SINCERE MAN WHO IS DOPE.

IT'S LIKE HE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT WORDS
THE MOST SINCEREST, AND BELIEVABLE WORDS I EVER HEARD.

OUT OF ALL THE MALES THAT HAVE CAME MY WAY
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE A HAPPY BEAUTIFUL DAY LIKE TODAY.

WHEN I'M WITH HIM I FEEL AT EASE
HE WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART, REGARDLESS IF I'M HERE OR OVERSEAS.

I'M GOING TO LET MY FEELINGS FLOW
THINGS MAY GO FAST OR SLOW.

SINCE I DON' T HAVE ANY PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT HIM BEING THE WRONG MAN FOR ME
I'M GOING TO FOLLOW MY HEART AND LET THINGS BE.

2007-05-13T18:37:00.000-05:00

MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I MUST SAY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOTHER'S. I'M NOT SO THRILLED ABOUT THE DAY. I WONDER IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT A MOTHER? I DID NOTHING TODAY. I SLEPT THE DAY AWAY. I DID SOME EXERCISING TO RELAX MY MIND. THAT DID NOT WORK. I'LL BE GLAD WHEN TODAY IS OVER WITH.

I WON'T REALLY COMPLAIN BECAUSE I'M STILL LIVING AND HAVE MY HEALTH. NOW I MUST START GETTING READY FOR WORK TONIGHT. THE ONLY THING IS MY CAR IS ACTING UP. NOW I MUST TRY TO GET A RIDE FROM SOMEONE. I HATE ASKING OTHERS FOR STUFF. I KNOW THE SAYING EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE SOMETIME. I TRY NOT TO NEED ANY ONE. I DO MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE TO OTHERS. I DO THAT BECAUSE, IF I TELL YOU I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU I DO. I DON'T GO AND GOSSIP ABOUT IT TO OTHERS. I DON'T TRUST OTHERS TO NEED THEM. I'VE BEEN LET DOWN BY OTHERS THROUGHOUT MY LIFE. I'VE HAD OTHERS TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY'VE DONE FOR ME. THE UNFORTUNATE THING IS THESE WERE FAMILY MEMBERS. SO I TRY NOT TO ACT LIKE THAT. I GIVE 100% OF ME TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO. IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES IT GETS A LITTLE DISCOURAGING.

EVERYONE IN THE BLOG WORLD CONTINUE TO ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY AND I'LL GET AT YOU LATER.

2007-01-17T12:47:00.000-06:00

WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT....

I've really been keeping to myself. I stay busy with work and with my organization. We all know from previous blogs that I was having problems at home. Now I'm single and glad that I finally made up my mind to walk. I stayed in a relationship for six years out of pity and feeling obligated . We both did. It was unfair to us both because neither were happy. I'll always love her, but I love myself more. It had been a long time coming. I didn't plan it, like what day or time. It just came out and for once I'm relieved. It kind of took me by surprise.

Normally one says to give yourself some me time before you jump back into dating. To be honest I've had that me time for about four years. My mind is so much clearer. Almost as though I can breath again. There is some one that I am really digging. It's weird how we met and how so many people didn't want us to converse. Once again I go against the norm. My intuition is working in overtime. So far so good as usual dead on the money. I can't remember feeling this happy in a long time. It's as though we've known each other for years. I'll go even as far as some friend shit. We talk to each other about anything. We complete each others thoughts. That's some freaky stuff. I'm finally being accepted for me. There is no need to wear a mask. I really never did. Now at this moment I feel comfortable with being free to be me. There is a whole lot more I can say but at this time silence will suffice....

2006-11-29T08:21:00.000-06:00

SCARY ASS PUNK

I NEVER THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE A DAY I WOULD CALL MYSELF A SCARY ASS PUNK. I'VE BEEN CONTEMPLATING THIS FOR A WHILE NOW. THERE WAS NEVER A MOMENT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER WHEN I WOULDN'T SAY OR DO ANYTHING. I GUESS I WAS MORE SECURE BACK THEN. I KNOW IT CAN'T BE OLD AGE.

THERE WAS THIS FEMALE THAT I'M FRIENDS WITH. I WAS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HER. I NEVER ACTED UPON IT OR EVEN MADE A PASS. I FIGURED EVENTUALLY IT WOULD HAPPEN. NEXT THING I KNOW SHE WAS MOVING AWAY. I HAD A LOT GOING ON AT THAT TIME AND SO DID SHE. ONE NIGHT SHE PUT IT OUT THERE AND INVITED ME TO GO OUT WITH HER BEFORE SHE LEFT FOR HER NEW JOURNEY. I RECLINED WORRIED ABOUT WORK. I KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT I WANTED IT AND THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE MY LAST CHANCE. IT WAS MY LAST CHANCE AND I DIDN'T DO A DAMN THING. IT WASN'T LIKE SHE WASN'T ATTRACTIVE. SHE WAS FINE AS HELL. BANGING ASS BODY, BEAUTIFUL FACE, AND VERY TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL. I GUESS I SLIPPED AND MISSED MY BEAT. I WONDER WILL WE EVER GET THE CHANCE TO MAKE ILL BEATS THAT'LL FORM INTO THE PERFECT VERSES OF HIP-HOP?

2006-11-23T08:32:00.000-06:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL TIME TO JUMP BACK INTO THE BLOG WORLD. I'VE BEEN GONE FOR AWHILE. I FEEL THAT NOW I HAVE MY HEAD TOGETHER TO JUMP BACK INTO THIS. I FELT TODAY WAS A GREAT DAY TO DO SO.

I HAVE CHANGED MY HOURS AT WORK RECENTLY AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I HAD TO DO IT TO STAY SANE. WE CHANGED OUR BUILDING INTO MAXIMUM SECURITY AND THESE BROTHERS ARE SO IGNORANT. THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR WOMAN. ON THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT YOU MAY SEE THEM ALL OF 30MINUTES. I'M LOVING THAT COMPARED TO A WHOLE 5 1/2 HOURS.

I DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. I AM CONTENT THOUGH. I'M GLAD TO BE LIVING AND I KNOW I'M TRULY BLESSED. I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING. I'M GLAD TO BE BACK AND LOOKING FORWARD TO READING YOUR BLOGS.

2006-05-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

BRIEF HIATUS.......

I HAD TO LEAVE FROM THE BLOG WORLD FOR A WHILE. THERE WERE THINGS IN MY LIFE I HAD TO REFLECT ON. THINGS I NEEDED TO LET GO AND LET GOD. I'VE COME TO THE REALIZATION, THAT NOT SAYING SOMETHING AND BEING QUIET IS BEST.

FOR ANY ONE THAT I MAY HAVE HURT I APOLOGIZE. I'M WOMAN ENOUGH TO DO THAT. IF I'M NOT FORGIVEN SO BE IT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN GOING GREAT AND I'M JUST WONDERING WHEN WILL THAT CLOUD RETURN AGAIN. TAY SAID TO ME THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE SAND STORM FOR A LONG TIME AND MAYBE I'LL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN. MOST PEOPLE THAT ARE SUCCESSFUL WENT THROUGH A STORM BEFORE THEY SEEN THE SUN SHINE. FOR THEM THE SUN IS STILL SHINING. I PRAY I'LL BE BLESSED ENOUGH FOR THAT SUN TO CONTINUE TO SHINE ON ME. IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER. I'VE BEEN VERY POSITIVE AND BLESSING OTHERS. I'M GRATEFUL THAT I WAS IN A POSITION WHERE I COULD GIVE A BLESSING.

I'M STILL DOING THE JAIL, MILITARY, AND CANDLE GIGS. I'M LOOKING FOR ANOTHER PART TIME GIG. I HAVE TO STAY HUSTLING. I WENT TO NEW YORK ON THE 13TH. I COULDN'T SEE WHAT THE WHOLE BIG DEAL ABOUT SHOPPING THE BLACK MARKET WAS ALL ABOUT. FOR THE STUFF I SEEN I COULD'VE STAYED IN CHICAGO. I GOT TO GO TO MACY'S AND THE MANHATTAN MALL. REGARDLESS OF THAT I GOT TO ENJOY MYSELF. I'LL BE GOING BACK SOON AND SPENDING A LITTLE MORE TIME SO I CAN DO MORE. MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 11TH OF JUNE. AS A TREAT TO MYSELF I'M GOING TO VEGAS. I'VE NEVER BEEN. I HEAR IT'S A GREAT PLACE.

THERE IS NOTHING INTERESTING AS FAR AS MY SEX LIFE CUZ ONE DOESN'T EXIST. I'LL BE HONEST THOUGH A CLOSE FEMALE FRIEND OF MINE ALMOST GOT IT A FEW WEEKS AGO. I WAS DRUNK AS HELL AND GOT SICK SO I COULDN'T EVEN MAKE MY MOVE. GIVEN THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY I WOULD MAKE A PASS AT HER EVEN I WAS SOBER. I WAS HORNY AS HELL THAT NIGHT AND JUST LEFT THIS LOUNGE WHERE THERE WAS $1.50 TEQUILA SHOT NIGHT. I WAS REAL READY. I GUESS EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. IF IT'S MEANT TO GO DOWN I'M SURE IT WILL.

2006-04-23T20:19:00.000-05:00

MOFOS WHO SUPPOSE TO BE FRIENDS.......

NOT TOO LONG AGO THERE WAS A POST PUBLISHED ABOUT A FRIEND PUSHING HER FRIENDS AWAY. THIS WRITER WAS HAVING A HARD TIME BELIEVING HIS FRIEND COULD TREAT HIM THIS WAY. NOW THE TABLES HAS TURNED. HE'S DOING THE EXACT SAME THING BUT BEING VERY RUDE TO HIS FRIENDS. HE NEEDS TO OPEN HIS HYPOCRITICAL EYES AND LOOK DEEP INSIDE THE MIRROR OF HIS SOUL.

ON 20 APR 06 I CALL MY FRIEND AND I DON'T USE THE WORD SO LOOSELY. IT WAS HIS BIRTHDATE. I CALLED AND THE CONVERSATION WENT LIKE THIS " HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I KNOW YOU DON'T DO THE BIRTHDAY THING BUT ACCEPT IT." HIS REPLY " NAH I'LL HOLLA AT YOU LATER." INSTANTLY I HAD THE DIAL TONE. THIS NIGGA WAS REALLY MAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT ENOUGH OF HIS ASS THAT HE LIVED ANOTHER YEAR. THAT'S MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE. I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL ADULTS HERE. ADULTS TALK ABOUT THINGS AND NOT HANG UP ON EACH OTHER. I MAY BE WRONG FOR WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. THAT WAS SOME REAL FAGGOT ASS BITCH SHIT TO DO TO A FRIEND. TO TOP THIS SHIT OFF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN IT, BUT YOU CELEBRATE IT TWO WEEKS PRIOR BY HAVING A CASINO NIGHT BIRTHDAY PARTY AND WAS KIND OF UPSET THAT YOU DIDN'T GET THE TURN OUT YOU EXPECTED. SOUNDS PRETTY HYPOCRITICAL TO ME. THEN TO TURN AROUND AND GET AN ATTITUDE WITH ME ( SUCK SOMETHING).

YOU ALL MAY THINK THAT I SHOULD BE BIGGER THAN THAT BUT HELL NO. YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP GOING THROUGH LIFE BEING QUIET ABOUT PEOPLE HURTING YOUR FEELINGS BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL DO IT AGAIN. HE WAS THE SAME PERSON WHO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT OUR FRIEND PUSHING HER FRIENDS AWAY AND HERE HE IS ACTING LIKE AN ASS. AIN'T NO LOVE LOST BUT I'M THROUGH. YOU ONLY HAVE ONE TIME TO HANG UP ON ME ESPECIALLY A FRIEND. I HOPE YOU JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND LEARN TO HAVE PEACE WITH YOURSELF AND COME OUT. COME OUT AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE WHO YOU'VE BEEN FIGHTING TRYING TO HIDE ALL YOUR LIFE. I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE AND BE BLESSED WITH ALL YOUR ENDEAVORS. I JUST WON'T SUBJECT MYSELF TO YOUR VIEWS OF FRIENDSHIP. IT'S BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU.

2006-04-05T20:39:00.000-05:00

LONG ASS WEEK.......

I KNEW I HAD TO PLAY G.I. JANE THIS WEEKEND, BUT I NEVER INTENDED TO BE LEAVING A DAY EARLY. IT'S COOL THOUGH I NEEDED A VACATION FROM WORK. I CLOSED OUT MY SHOW TODAY FOR MY CANDLES. I HAD A TOTAL OF 6 SHOWS AND I STILL REACHED MY GOAL. ALL I HAVE TO DO NOW IS REACH MY GOAL FOR THE MONTH. NOW I WANT TO PUSH MYSELF HARDER. I KNOW I'LL DO IT. I HAVE A LOT OF DETERMINATION.

SUNDAY WHEN I RETURNED FROM WORK MY CAR STOPPED IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE AS I WAS PARKING. TO MAKE ALONG STORY SHORT I BELIEVE MY ENGINE LOCKED UP. I HAD AN BLOWN HEAD GASKET. I SUDDENLY BECAME DEPRESSED BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO. I'LL BE HONEST MY CREDIT SUCKS. AND EVERY TIME I TRIED TO GET A CAR INCLUDING A USED ONE I'VE BEEN DENIED. THE LADY THAT GOT ME INTO SELLING CANDLES SENT ME TO A DEALERSHIP MONDAY AND IN AN HOUR AND A HALF I DROVE OFF THE LOT WITH AN 98' MONTE CARLO. ALL I DID WAS PUT ONE FOOT FORWARD AND NOW I CAN TRY TO ESTABLISH SOME CREDIT. I'M TAKING ALL THE NECESSARY STEPS TOWARDS IT. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET A SECOND, WELL THIRD JOB IF YOU COUNT SELLING CANDLES. I LIKE TO PAY ALL MY BILLS AND SHOP. I NEVER WANT TO COMPROMISE MY HAPPINESS.

TWO OF MY FRIENDS ARE NOT DOING SO WELL RIGHT NOW. ONE IS GOING THROUGH A LOT AND PUSHING EVERYONE AWAY. I CAN UNDERSTAND MORE SO THAN MY OTHER FRIEND WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH AND HOW SHE'S REACTING. I TOO HAVE BEEN JUST LIKE HER. I HAD TO LEARN NOT TO PUSH MY FRIENDS AWAY. I HAD A FRIEND TELL ME "IF I'M YOUR FRIEND WHEN YOU ARE DOING GOOD, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL TURN MY BACK ON YOU WHEN YOU ARE DOING BAD. OUR FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T END BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS". WITH THAT BEING SAID SOMETIMES TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE AND YOUR FRIENDS MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU OUT OF THAT STUPOR. I WANT THE BOTH OF THEM TO KNOW I HEAR BOTH OF THEM AND NOT TO GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER.

2006-03-30T18:38:00.000-06:00

LOOK DEEP, DEEP INSIDE ME. READ ME LIKE I'M THE BOOK YOU CREATED. HOW DOES THIS BOOK BEGIN? WILL THIS BOOK END? WHAT WOULD BE THE INTRICATE PLOT? WOULD THE CLIMAX BE SHORT OR OH SO LONG & ONGOING? HOW MANY CHARACTERS? WILL I BE THE MAIN STAR OF THIS SEXCAPADE DAMN I MEAN ESCAPADE? WILL THERE BE AN ORGY I MEAN PLETHORA OF CHARACTERS? WILL I BE BONNIE AND HAVE MY CLYDE AND WE CONTINUOUSLY RIDE. RIDING OFF INTO THE SUNSET WITH MY GIRLS. GOING TO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD AND BACK AGAIN. EACH ONE POSSESSING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE PERFECT BLEND.

OUR FIRST STOP IS IN GERMANY. IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT WHAT EVER OUR DESIRES THERE IS PLENTY. OUR NEXT STOP WILL BE IN JAPAN. WILL I BE THE MOST SUBMISSIVE GEISHA AND MEET ALL YOUR DEMANDS? NAH, LET'S BRING IT BACK TO THE STATES. LET'S BE ON SOME OTHER SHIT AND KICK IT AT HUGH HEFNER'S PLACE. THIS AIN'T NOTHING NEW TO US. WITH IN OUR GROUP DOING WHAT COMES NATURAL. RATHER IT'S SUCKING, BUCKING, OR FUCKING WILDENING OUT. HEAVY PANTING MOUTH WATERING WHEN YOUR DICK I MEAN PUSSY MEETS MY LIPS. OR WHEN YOUR LIPS REACH THE LIPS IN BETWEEN MY HIPS. YOU GOING SO DEEP INSIDE ME. WHAT IS THIS I FEEL ON MY CLIT? OH SHIT, OH SHIT, IT'S "SHE". NOT CARING ABOUT WHAT ONE THINKS ABOUT WHAT I DO IN MY PLACE. ALL THE TIME BEING SAFE. YEAH I LIKE THE HARDNESS OF A COCK AND THE SOFTNESS OF A CLIT THAT SUDDENLY GOES ON ROCK. THE PLOT OF THIS BOOK IS ME (MAIN CHARACTER) HAVING THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. PUTTING IN ALL MY WORDS EXPOUNDING ON EVERY LAST DETAIL WITH NOTHING LEFT TO TELL.

2006-03-29T20:29:00.000-06:00

BEFORE

I'M A LITTLE TIPSY RIGHT NOW. IT'S WEIRD BECAUSE ALL I DRANK WAS A GLASS OF WINE. I MUST REMEMBER I DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING ON MY STOMACH. RIGHT NOW I HEAR MY GIRLS MUSIC AND SHE STAYS ACROSS FROM ME ON THE SECOND FLOOR. SOMEONE IS KNOCKING AT HER DOOR AND OF COURSE SHE'S IGNORING THEM. WHEN MOFOS BE OUT THERE ARGUING LOUD AS HELL I DON'T HEAR THEIR ASS KNOCKING THEN. IT'S 8:00PM, THEY NEED TO GET OVER IT. TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS TO LET YOUR NUTS HANG. IT DOESN'T MATTER. TODAY IS A GOOD DAY. THE SITUATION WAS TAKEN CARE OF. THE TENANTS CALLED THE LANDLORD. YOU KNOW THERE IS A REMEDY FOR THAT. I CAN'T THINK OF THE LAST TIME I HAD SEX. I HAVE HAD DREAMS OF HAVING SEX BUT IT'S BEEN WITH PEOPLE I DON'T HAVE ANY INTEREST IN.

I THINK I MAY WANT TO BE A LITTLE NAUGHTY THESE NEXT FEW DAYS. KNOWING DAMN WELL I WON'T SQUASH A GRAPE. I NEED TO GO TO TENNESSEE TO GET BROKE OFF. I MISS THAT GOOD ASS DICK. I DON'T CARE FOR IT LIKE THAT, BUT HE USE TO DIG ME OUT RIGHT. I'M GETTING WET THINKING ABOUT IT. I LIKE REMEMBERING THOSE NIGHTS. TOMORROW I WILL PUT AN VERY EXPLICIT POEM ON MY BLOG TO FOLLOW THIS UP......... I'LL HOLLA

AFTER

2006-03-27T21:31:00.000-06:00

LAST NIGHT I WAS REALLY UPSET. I WAS GOING TO BLOG BUT DECIDED AGAINST IT. I STARTED SELLING PARTYLITE CANDLES. LAST NIGHT WAS MY SHOW. I INVITED ABOUT TWENTY PEOPLE AND THEY SAID THEY WOULD COME. I EVEN DID THE PROFESSIONAL THING . I ACTUALLY SENT OUT INVITATIONS. MY FRIEND NONIE AND MY FAMILY ATTENDED. IT STARTED AT 6:00PM. WHEN 7:00PM CAME AROUND I WAS UPSET. NONE OF MY FRIENDS CAME OR EVEN HAD THE COURTESY TO TELL ME THAT THEY WOULDN'T ATTEND. ABOUT 7:10PM SHONTA'S FRIEND FROM WORK SHOWED UP. I REALLY APPRECIATED IT. I BUY THINGS FROM HER SO THAT WAS REAL DECENT OF HER BECAUSE AFTER SHE LEFT SHE HAD TO GO TO WORK. I'M NOT GOING TO LET THIS SITUATION DISCOURAGE ME. IT DID LAST NIGHT. I GIVE ALL OF ME TO MY FRIENDS. WHEN EVER I'M NEEDED I'M THERE. WHY IS IT I GIVE MY ALL AND CAN'T GET THE SAME IN RETURN? JUST THIS LITTLE INCIDENT MADE ME SEE THAT I GIVE TOO MUCH OF ME AND FOR THAT I'M BEING USED. WELL I'VE BEEN USED UP AND I HAVE NO MORE TO GIVE. I HAVE SOME NEW TECHNIQUES AS FAR AS A SELLING PITCH AND I FEEL OPTIMISTIC ABOUT IT. I WILL TRY NOT TO MIX MY FRIENDS WITH MY BUSINESS. I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN BEING UPSET THAT I DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO TAKE PICTURES. EVERYTHING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. I'LL REMEMBER TO TAKE PICTURES AT THE NEXT SHOWS I'LL BE BOOKING BUT WON'T BE HOSTING. IF I DO HOST ANOTHER I WILL NOT WASTE MY MONEY LIKE I DID ON THIS ONE. I HAD BOTTLES OF WINE, CHEESE TRAY, VEGETABLE TRAY, FRUIT BOWL AND CAKES. MY FAMILY REALLY CAME THROUGH AND I'M VERY HAPPY FOR THAT. MY SISTER BOOKED A SHOW FOR NEXT MONTH. I'M POSITIVE TO GET MORE. THANKS TO HASSAN FOR LISTENING TO ME VENT LAST NIGHT AND PUTTING THINGS IN A MORE POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE.

I MUST SAY HAPPY 37TH BIRTHDAY TO "DTS"(MALE SOULMATE). I WISH I COULD'VE SPENT IT WITH HIM. WHAT IS MEANT TO BE IS. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. I PRAY HE HAS A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY. I WILL BEGIN TO POST IMAGES TO MY BLOG REAL SOON. I WILL ALSO TRY TO BLOG MORE. ONE GOOD THING ABOUT LAST NIGHT I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY 7MONTH NIECE. I STILL HAVE A LOT TO BE HAPPY AND GRATEFUL FOR. I WILL NOT LET OTHERS RAIN ON MY PARADE.

2006-03-07T17:02:00.000-06:00

TWO SIDED GEMINI

YES GEMINI'S DO HAVE TWO SIDES OR MORE TO THEM. IN MY PREVIOUS BLOGS I'VE SPOKEN ABOUT MY SOULMATE AS A MAN. OH YES THERE IS A FEMALE SOULMATE FOR ME....

I'VE KNOWN FE SINCE I WAS 19YRS. OLD. I MET HER IN THE MILITARY AS WELL. THIS ONE WAS A HARD CATCH. I CHASED HER FOR QUITE SOME TIME. IT SEEMS AS THOUGH WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I WAS A LOT BOLDER. I EVENTUALLY GOT HER IN 98'. IT WAS A LONG TIME AFTER THAT BEFORE I GOT HER AGAIN. HOWEVER, WE DID BECOME VERY CLOSE FRIENDS. WE CALLED EACH OTHER SISTERS. DEEP DOWN I KNEW I STILL LOOKED AT HER IN A DIFFERENT WAY. I WAS JONESING FOR THIS YOUNG LADY BAD. SHE'S 6YRS OLDER THAN I. THAT AGE THING WAS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER FOR ME. I WAS KIND OF FORCED AND SOME OF IT WAS MY OWN CHARACTERISTICS, TO GROW UP FAST. THERE WAS A TRAGIC ACCIDENT THAT TOOK PLACE IN THE LATER PART OF 98' THAT CAUSED ME TO REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS WOMAN AND DIDN'T WANT A MOMENT TO ESCAPE WITH OUT ME EVER GETTING THE CHANCE TO LET HER KNOW HOW I FELT ABOUT HER. SO WE GREW MUCH CLOSER. WE FINALLY WOKE UP AND SEEN THAT WE HAD A TRUE FRIENDSHIP IF NOT NOTHING ELSE THAT HAD DEVELOPED. IN 00' WE BOTH KNEW WE WANTED OUT OF OUR PARENTS AND WANTED TO SAVE MONEY. WE BOTH HAVE BEEN BACK AND FORTH BACK HOME. SHE WANTED PRIVACY AND I WANTED A PIECE OF MIND FROM AN ABUSIVE MOTHER. SO SHE ASKED ME TO MOVE WITH HER INTO THIS HOUSE HER GODFATHER WOULD RENT OUT TO US. I SAID YES . WE BOTH MADE ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE COMFORTABLY. THINGS STARTED TO HEAT UP BETWEEN US EMOTIONALLY AND SEXUALLY. WE REALLY GOT A CHANCE TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER. COME TO FIND OUT WE HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON. IT WAS A GREAT LIVING ARRANGEMENT.

THINGS STARTED TO GO SOUR FOR ME. I KNEW SHE HAD FEMALE FRIENDS, AND THAT WE WEREN'T EXCLUSIVE. I WAS THE ONE TO COME UP WITH THE IDEA AND AGREED TO IT. THINGS DID START TO CHANGE BETWEEN US. I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH HER. TO NOT HAVE HER WOULD HURT. THEREFORE I ACCEPTED IN ANY FORM THAT I COULD HAVE HER. TO BE HONEST WE USED ONE ANOTHER. FOR HER I BELIEVE IT WAS A SECURITY BLANKET OR CONVENIENCE. SHE KNEW I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE AND WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE. I WAS LIKE HER SAFE HAVEN. I KNEW THAT AND I KNEW I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE HER SO I ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE USED. I CAN'T SAY SHE DIDN'T LOVE ME, BUT NOT THE WAY I LOVED HER.

I WAS GOING TROUGH SOME OF MY OLD WRITINGS BACK THEN AND RAN ACROSS SOMETHING I WROTE ABOUT FE. IT'S WEIRD I STILL LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART. I REALIZED I WAS ABLE TO GO ON. I KNEW I DESERVED TO BE LOVED THE WAY THAT I WAS CAPABLE TO LOVE OR TO BE ALONE UNTIL. I LEARNED A LOT AND THAT HAS MOLDED ME INTO THE PERSON I AM TODAY. THAT I THANK HER FOR. WE ARE GREAT FRIENDS AND IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO GET THERE...

I CONSTANTLY LOVE HER. I FEEL AS THOUGH IT'S NOT BEING RETURNED. I KNOW SHE LOVES ME IN HER OWN SPECIAL WAY. SHE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH ME. I CAN'T LEAVE HER. I DON'T WANT HER TO LEAVE ME NEITHER. SHE'S CONSTANTLY RUNNING TOWARDS SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY IN HER FACE. I'M SO SCARED TO TELL HER HOW MUCH I NEED AND WANT HER. EVEN THOUGH SHE SAYS SHE'LL NEVER CHANGE OR LEAVE ME. I KNOW IT WILL RUIN THE LITTLE RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE. THE LOVE SHE GIVES IS ONLY PART TIME. I CAN NEVER SAY SHE HAS LEAD ME TO BELIEVE THAT WE WILL BE TOGETHER. WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT? I KNOW THERE IS SOME TYPE OF ATTRACTION THERE. DOES IT END THERE? I TRULY KNOW I'M A GOOD CATCH. HAVE I EVER CROSSED HER MIND IN THAT WAY? HAS SHE EVER WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME? I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE FIRST BATTLE. EVERYTHING FROM THE BEGINNING I SAID I WANTED FROM HER I EVENTUALLY GOT. SHE GAVE ME A RUN FOR MY MONEY. I DID GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW HER THAT I'M DETERMINED. NOW SHE THINKS I'M STOPPING RIGHT HERE AND GIVING UP. TOMORROW IF I SEE HER I HAVE TO TELL HER BECAUSE IT'S EATING ME ALIVE. SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME AND SHE KNOWS THAT I WOULD CRY IF SHE DID. SHE REALLY THINKS SHE KNOWS ME. WHY DO I GIVE HER SO MUCH POWER? SHE THINKS I'M INTIMIDATED. HONESTLY, I'M NOT INTIMIDATED I'M TERRIFIED OF REJECTION. SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GROW OLD AND ALONE. I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE LIKE I AM NOW. I WANT TO CONTINUE TO GROW AND BE WITH HER. DEEP DOWN I KNOW I WILL GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND ASK HER TO GIVE ME A LIFETIME. THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME TO SHOW HER ALL THE LOVE THAT'S BEEN BOTTLED UP INSIDE OF ME. THAT LOVE I DON'T WANT TO GIVE TO ANYONE ELSE BUT HER. WHY WON'T I LET ANYONE ELSE IN? I CAN'T LET HER OUT. WHAT TECHNIQUE IS THAT I CAN USE TO SHOW HER I'M GENUINELY IN LOVE WITH HER? I'M SCARED OF CHASING HER AWAY. TELL ME TO LET THAT LOVE GO AND I JUST LOVE HER MORE. IS SHE PULLING ME ALONG UNTIL SHE CAN SAY YES OR NO? THIS SHIT IS RIPPING AT MY SOUL. I CAN FEEL EVERY SHED RIP. I DON'T WANT MY SOUL TO GO NUMB. EACH TEAR THAT DROPS CAN FORM A SEA OF LOVE. A SEA THAT I WANT HER TO SHARE AND DROWN IN IT WITH ME. I WANT HER TO DROWN UNTIL SHE CAN'T BREATH ANYMORE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE TO REVIVE HER. WHEN I LOOK INTO HER EYES I SEE A HEART THAT WANTS TO PUMP OUT BLOOD FOR THE RIGHT PERSON. THIS PRECIOUS DARLING DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK ANY FURTHER HER DONOR IS RIGHT HERE. MY BLOOD NEEDS HER. IT CAN RUN ALL THROUGH MY VEINS AND ARTERIES. THIS WAY I CAN TOTALLY FEEL HER, SO I CAN FULLY UNDERSTAND HER. BY HAVING THAT SAME BLOOD THAT GOES ALL THROUGH HER BODY INCLUDING HER BRAIN, MAYBE THEN I CAN KNOW WHAT SHE THINKS AND FEEL ABOUT ME. I WOULD HATE TO BE FORCEFUL AND EVER SO DELICATELY BITE THE BLOOD FROM HER NECK. I'M SURE IT WOULD TASTE SO SWEET. A CHANCE TO SHOW HER ANOTHER WAY. I COULD TEACH HER TO BE MY DONOR. I WANT HER TO BITE MY NECK, TASTE THE BLOOD AND SUCK THE LIFE RIGHT OUT OF ME. YOU KNOW WHAT CONCLUSION SHE WOULD COME TO? THE CONCLUSION IS THIS: HERE'S A WOMAN THAT LOVED ME UNTIL DEATH DID US PART.

WRITTEN IN 2002

2006-03-04T18:35:00.000-06:00

SOULMATE PT. II CONTINUED..

OUR FIRST ROAD TRIP WAS TO ATL. IT BEGAN WITH ME GIVING HIM SOME OF THE BEST CAP AND GOWN HE HAS EVER RECEIVED. I WANTED HIS SHAFT AND DOME IN MY MOUTH SO BAD THAT I WAS DAMN NEAR DROOLING. SEE MY MOUTH GETS SO HOT AND WET WHEN I WANT IT ORALLY. ORAL SEX IS MY FAVORITE. IT'S A TURN ON FOR ME BECAUSE IT'S AN EGO THING. I CONTINUED UNTIL HE GOT SO HARD AND CONTINUOUSLY PULSATING UNTIL HE PAINTED THE BACK OF MY TONSILS. WE WENT TO MEET SOME OF HIS OMEGA LINE BROTHERS. IT WAS COOL REAL NICE ATMOSPHERE. I GOT HIGH AS HELL, WHICH I HARDLY EVER DO. I WAS IN THE CAR WAITING ON THEM TO MEET UP WITH THEIR GUY WHO IS A MANAGER OF A PRESIDENTIAL SUITE. WHILE I'M WAITING I'M LISTENING TO LIL JON "I'M SO HORNY". INDEED THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS. WEED ALWAYS SEEMS TO SEND MY HORMONES OFF THE METER. THEY MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS AND WE WENT ON UP. THE ROOM WAS HUGE AS HELL. WE SAT AROUND DRANK, SMOKED AND I LISTENED TO THEM REMINISCE ABOUT THEIR COLLEGE DAYS. SEE I WAS AMAZED BECAUSE I NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO GO AWAY TO COLLEGE. I WAS TOO BUSY TRYING TO PLAY G.I JANE.

IT HAS TO BE LIKE 3AM AND I'M HORNY AS HELL AND SO WAS "DTS". WE WERE CONTEMPLATING ABOUT GOING OUTSIDE ON THE BALCONY. WE SOME HOW NEVER MADE IT OUT THERE. HE GRABBED ME UP REAL HARD JUST LIKE I LIKE. I WAS TRYING TO BE QUIET BECAUSE TWO OF HIS BROS. WERE SLEEPING ON THE COUCHES. I TRIED TO STAY QUIET BY KISSING HIS PRETTY MOUTH. I UNZIPPED HIS PANTS AND WENT TO WORK ON THAT PERFECT HARD ASS MEMBER OF HIS. HE DIDN'T WANT TO CUM YET SO HE UNDRESSED ME AND STARTED GIVING ME HEAD. HE HELD MY CLIT GENTLY WITH HIS LIPS AND SUCKED AND FLICKED HIS TONGUE JUST RIGHT. I THEN YELLED OUT FOR HIM TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME . HE STUCK JUST THE TIP OF HIS DICK IN MY EXPANDING RIVER. THEN SUDDENLY HE RAMMED THE WHOLE SHAFT IN. I SCREAMED OUT "HELL YEAH DTS THIS PUSSY IS YOURS". HE WAS HITTING THAT SHIT FROM THE BACK THE WAY I LIKE IT. HE INTRUDED MY ANAL CANAL WITH A FINGER OR TWO. I STARTED THROWING THAT ASS BACK RAPIDLY BECAUSE IT FELT GOOD TO HAVE BOTH ORIFICES FILLED. MY PUSSY WAS DRIPPING WET. I WAS LOUD AS HELL. WE BOTH LOOKED UP BECAUSE NOW WE WOKE HIS BOY UP AND HE WAS WATCHING. THAT TURNED ME ON. I LIKE TO BE WATCHED. WE INVITED HIS GUY OVER AND I BEGAN TO SUCK HIM OFF WHILE DTS WAS STILL HITTING THAT SHIT. HIS GUY STARTED SAYING SHIT LIKE "DAMN YOU GONNA HAVE ME SPOILED, THIS SOME GOOD ASS HEAD". HE THEN SAID HE WANTED TO GO INSIDE ME . WHILE I GOT THE CONDOM READY IT WAS TOO LATE HE BUST ONE OFF. AFTER HE CALMED DOWN I TRIED TO GET HIM BACK UP BUT UNFORTUNATELY HE WENT TO SLEEP. BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP ME AND DTS. WE GOT OURS. I RODE HIS DICK UNTIL WE BOTH CAME AT THE SAME TIME.

THAT WHOLE WEEKEND WAS UNBELIEVABLE. WE WENT TO ONE OF HIS FEMALE FRIENDS HOUSE THAT HE WENT TO COLLEGE WITH. WE BOTH ENDED UP IN THE BATHROOM TOGETHER HAVING A QUICKIE. SNEAKING IN SOME ONE ELSE HOUSE WAS OFF THE CHAIN. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE THREESOME THANG WITH A MALE NEVER WORKED OUT . BUT WE HAD QUITE A FEW WITH WOMEN AND ALL THE TIME WE REMAINED SAFE. THERE WERE PLENTY OF EPISODES AND ONE DAY I'LL CONTINUE TO REMEMBER AND BLOG. MAYBE HOPEFULLY ONE DAY SOON THERE WILL BE AT LEAST ONE MORE STORY FOR THE ROAD. THE LAST CHAPTER OF A GREAT BOOK. MAYBE IT WILL BE TITLED "1ST RECTUM READING.....

2006-03-03T17:28:00.000-06:00

SOULMATE PT.II

NOW I WENT INTO DETAIL ABOUT MY SOULMATE MENTALLY IN PT.I. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO TELL WHY HE WAS MY SOULMATE SEXUALLY.....

THE FIRST ENCOUNTER WAS NOT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE BUT ORAL STIMULATION. WE MET OUT ON BASE AT THE CLUB. WE DRANK AND TALKED AND MAYBE DANCED A LITTLE. WE WERE SITTING AT THE BAR AND TWO FEMALES WERE TONGUING EACH OTHER DOWN. I WAS IMMEDIATELY INTRIUGED AND HOT. I SEEN HIM WATCHING SO I ASKED "DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SEEING SOMETHING LIKE THAT"? HIS RESPONSE WAS "NO WHY DO YOU ASK". THEN I PROCEEDED TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE FEMALES AND THAT HE HAS BEEN THE FIRST MALE THAT I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO IN A LONG TIME. HE ASKED ME TO GO BACK TO HIS PLACE WITH HIM. I SAID YES BUT KNEW NOTHING MUCH WOULD HAPPEN BECAUSE MY MENSTRUAL WAS VISITING. HOW I WISHED IT WASN'T.

WE WENT BACK TO HIS PLACE AND ENDED UP TALKING UNTIL THE SUN CAME UP. WE WERE BOTH AMAZED AT HOW MUCH WE HAD IN COMMON EVEN ON THE SEX SIDE OF THINGS. THE CONVERSATION WAS SO STIMULATING. COME TO FIND OUT HE PREFERRED TO MESS WITH WOMAN THAT LIKED WOMEN. WELL WE BEGAN TO KISS AND I HAD TO TELL HIM THAT I WAS HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. I WANTED HIM SO BAD AND I COULD TELL HE WANTED ME TOO. I'M NOT ONE FOR KISSING, BUT WHEN HE KISSED ME IT SENT CHILLS ALL THROUGH MY BODY. I KNEW OFF THAT ALONE THAT THIS HANDSOME BEAST WAS JUST AS EXPERIENCED AS I WAS. I COULDN'T LEAVE WITH OUT GIVING HIM SOME CAP AND GOWN. I KNEW IT WAS ON POINT AFTER I SWALLOWED AND HE LAID THERE AND SMILED.

SO THE NEXT DAY HE INVITED ME OUT TO HANG OUT WITH SOME OF HIS OMEGA BROTHERS. I TOOK A LIKING TO THEM AND THEY DID TO ME. WE STARED HANGING OUT EVERYDAY AND I WAS SLEEPING OVER EVERY NIGHT HIS DISCUSSION OF COURSE. FINALLY AFTER MY HIATUS WE GOT DOWN AND DIRTY. WE HAD ANTICIPATED IT FOR SO LONG. SEE I WAS PART OF THIS MORALE PROGRAM FOR THE SOLDIERS AND HE WAS MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST. THAT'S HOW WE MET. I WAS GOING IN FOR TREATMENTS. ANYWAY, IT WAS THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS AND WE WERE HAVING A PARTY WHILE HE WAS AT WORK. HE CALLED ME WHEN HE GOT OFF AND PICKED ME UP. WE BOTH KNEW THIS HAD TO HAPPEN BECAUSE HE WAS GOING HOME TO TENNESSEE AND I WAS COMING HOME TO THE CHI. WHEN HE ENTERED ME I KNEW AT THAT MOMENT HIS DICK WAS MADE FOR MY PUSSY. HE WAS GENTLE YET ROUGH. HE KNEW ALL THE RIGHT SPOTS. HE WAS AIMING TO PLEASE ME. HE MADE SURE HE GAVE ME HEAD. THEN HE ENTERED ME AGAIN. HE WAS FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF ME FROM BEHIND. I HAVE THIS THING WHERE I LIKED TO BE CHOKED. I ASKED HIM AND HE GLADLY OBLIGED UNTIL I CAME ALL OVER HIM. WHEN I MESSED WITH OTHERS THEY WERE AFRAID TO CHOKE ME OUT AND HESITANT. I KNEW THIS ONE WAS A KEEPER. I MADE HIM PULL OUT BEFORE HE CAME BECAUSE I NEED TO TASTE THAT SWEET NECTAR OF HIS THAT'S STILL A PART OF ME.

THERE IS SO MANY MORE SEXCAPADES AND I WILL GET TO THEM AND SOME OF THEM ARE OFF THE CHAIN. MAN DO I MISS HIS BEAUTIFUL ASS DICK AND MOUTH. WE DID END UP LIVING TOGETHER UNTIL I CAME BACK TO THE CHI. AND THE ROAD TRIPS ARE SO DAMN MEMORABLE...

2006-03-01T22:32:00.000-06:00

SOULMATE

I never thought I would click with someone especially a man the way I did with"DTS". Men that I've told about my sexuality have pretended to understand and got these weird fantasies. When it really came down to it the jealously always reared it's ugly head. He was the only person that made me feel good about being me. He had no hang ups about my sexuality or my appearance. A good ol southern boy he was. See this brother was well diverse. He was one of those "OMEGA" brothers' that has been around the world quite a few times. He was a charming mofo. The most amazing thing was that I came at him. That is so not the norm for me. I don't like rejection so I don't do the approaching thing. But I knew I had to get to know this brother. That's exactly what I did. No one has ever known me like he does and I totally know him. I know things about him that his wife doesn't even know. Now he's separated from his wife. We're in different states and doing our own thing like we were before we ever met. I loved this brother and deep down probably still do. He has moved own with his life living alone and exclusively dating this female. I want to visit him so badly. But I feel as though things are so different between us....

We vowed not to ever let distance come between us or anything else. But something has come between us. I shouldn't even be thinking about him because i'm back with my girl. But I constantly feel something is missing and it's him. I miss him so much that I'm trying to hold back the tears from not seeing him, in a year and a half has built up inside of me. I use to lay in his arms at night and take in his breaths and become as one with him. He was the love of my life. I don't think I will ever vibe with any one the way I have with him. I know what ever is meant will be. Maybe I'll see him next lifetime. He's been on my mind a lot lately and I hadn't heard from him in a while. He texted me on Valentine's day. So I called him right back and told him if he could've texted me he could've called me. So I've tried to stay in touch over the past two weeks. I spoke with him yesterday. We've always been honest with one another and I immediately grew sad when I learned that he has moved on with this female, whom I thought was just a fling. I hoped when we were together he would leave all thebitterness of a relationship he had with his wife. Now he has since I've been back in the Chi. I felt like one day whenever he left his wife we would be together. He never sold that dream to me. I sold it to myself. We did say no matter what we would always remain as friends. I do miss his friendship. When I get over myself maybe I could try to restore what was lost as as great friend.

My heart has a special place for you.
The door has been open, all you have to do is walk through.
Everyday your face was my sunshine
Remembering your kisses and touches so sweet and kind.
You feel so close that I can taste it.
But you are really far, no where near not even a little bit.
Sleeping at night feeling your embrace
Kissing your body leaving a slight wet trace.
Darling please keep haunting my dreams
Everything will become true by all means.

2006-02-22T13:12:00.000-06:00

MY FIRST TIME

Thanks to insanelysane I feel open enough to share my first lesbian encounter with you guys.

It was the fall of 1995. My bestfriend which was my oldest brother had died in the summer in his sleep sitting next to me. So I started my senior year in school alienating myself. I had one boyfriend with whom I was no longer with. I was in no way thinking about any guys. I had a filmstudy class and there was this girl I sat next to that was on the basketball team. We became real close. Deep down I knew I had a crush on her. I didn't notice it until she started missing a whole lot of days in school. I was on the newspaper as an photographer. I eventually started going to the girls basketball games. One Sunday night she came over to my house to visit with a gay male friend of ours. My mother went to visit a neighbor while I entertained. We went through the yearbook and they pointed out to me everyone that was gay in the school. They went on to tell me that this female named Monica had a crush on me. The only thing with that was this was the girl that was sitting in my house bestfriend. And I couldn't stand Monica. She was so irritating to me. My mother returned home and went to her room. My guest walked out the door. A few seconds later I heard someone calling my name outside. It was the girl that I thought of everyday. She returned to kiss me. It was a pleasant kiss but it caught me off guard. I knew I wanted it but didn't know what to expect. From that moment on, we began to share poetry with one another.

One day we left school in the afternoon to get ready for a basketball game. By now I was filming the games for the coach on video camera. Well we were at her house and a girl named Angie came over. They were really up under each other. The whole time I'm sitting there trying to figure out was this her girlfriend because she never gave me that information. So by now I'm jealous, But I mastered at an early age never to show your jealousy. Later we went to the basketball game at Hyde Park. I was on the floor taking pictures and filming. After Varsity played Frosh-Soph played. So myself, the girl(Shawntay), Angie, and Monica walked to McDonald's. The whole time Monica kept staring at me and smiling. I was too busy trying to see what was going on with Shawntay and Angie. On the way back that's when it came out that they were together. So I ended up dating Monica.

My first time sexually with a female was December 26, 1995. I had been dating Monica for some time now and we would as kiss and fondle one another. I loved the way she made my body feel. I wasn't surprised that a female could make me feel this way. Because my ex-boyfriend certainly didn't. I took her Christmas present to her house. We started drinking and smoking weed and chilled. Then we started kissing and ended up in her bed. She slowly undressed me and kissed me everywhere tracing my entire body with her tongue. She left out and came back with whip cream she applied it to my "KOJAK". She began to devour me. I didn't have an orgasm but it was the best sex at that point I've ever had.

The first time I ever came from oral stimulation was October 17, 2001. The lady I'm dating now was the first. I didn't know my body could feel like that. It was the day after Sweetest Day. I had just had ankle surgery a few weeks prior. But I called her up and told her to come over. I dressed in this tangerine bra and lace panty set. I had this sheer mint green robe over it. I had the candles burning and the drinks ready. She had never had a girlfriend before. I opened the door in my sexy attire and she was caught off guard. We entered my room with some soft neo soul playing. I fixed her a drink and I had one also. We loosened up and then I asked for a back massage. She gave me one with no problem. Some how my bra and panties came off thanks to her. When she dove in I thought it would be another oral encounter without an orgasm especially since it was her first time. Well I've been with her ever since and been continuously cumming. She is the "HEAD DOCTOR". The ironic part about it is that her name is Shonta' and her birthday is December 26th. So that day still means a lot to me and always will.